Celebrating What We Do Right

It’s easy to get so excited about what the new year can hold that we conger up big plans. We are going to change every aspect of our life that we have felt frustrated about for the last 10 years. “I will get up an hour early every day to do vigorous exercise, stop eating sweets, meditate daily, and lose 25 pounds.” Now, at three weeks into the new year, we’ve reached the point when all those resolutions are overwhelming and impossible to hold on to because “real life” runs alongside them. We slide down the slope to despair and self-loathing, setting the tone of our year to failure. 

What I have learned is that making  grandiose resolutions puts me under constant pressure because I’m not “perfect.” I took on too many changes, leaving me stressed out, riddled with guilt, and running a constant “I’ve blown it so I might as well give up -- I’m a loser anyway” tirade through my head. 

I’ve found success with this resolution: This year I will hang on to the good things I am already doing for myself. 

If you choose to share this resolution with me, I believe this will be a year of little victories for you and me. Taking care of ourselves is something we’ll celebrate. When we take a walk or eat a healthy, well-balanced meal, we’ll think about how good we feel and how we’ve honored our bodies. Things as simple as a soak in a hot bath, sleeping, and reading something inspiring are celebrated. When the rhythm of life takes us to a hectic place where emergencies take precedent, we’ll do our best, remain guilt-free, and celebrate the next healthy thing we do for ourselves. 

By focusing on the healthy things going on in our lives, we’ll be more encouraged to take that one step closer to better self-care. Since I've adopted this resolution, I’ve found myself doing more good things for myself. (It’s like parents who praise their child when s/he is being good soon discover the child will repeat that behavior more often.) During the year, I’d hear a healthy tip and think “I could add that one thing to my life.” 

For me, and I hope for you, it will feel a lot less like work and will show steady progress toward living a more robust life. Celebrate your successes with me this year. What did you do to honor your body and spirit today?

The 4 Pound Dilemma

Last week, I stepped on the scale at the doctor’s office, wishing I’d worn lighter (weight-wise) clothing. I’d forgotten that I’d be weighed. (That attests to the fact that my life had been so busy, my mind had not always engaged with the details of upcoming activities.) What women doesn’t choose her clothing carefully when she knows she will be stepping on a scale? Okay, maybe Paris Hilton, but I wouldn’t count on it.

The numbers flickered, a digital frenzy, and stopped at 4 pounds less than I expected. Wait, did I read that right? Is that really what I saw? Were my eyes giving out? After all, I’m 60 now. I asked the nurse to confirm the number. She did.

Suddenly, I felt better! I stood taller. My step was lighter. I was floating over the loss of 4 pounds. I couldn’t believe how good I felt about myself. What changed in that flutter-of-an-eyelash moment when the numbers popped up? 

I thought I had a handle on my relationship with my body when I tossed out my at-home scale a couple years ago. No more would a number dictate how I felt about myself. I would love my body with all its sags, rolls and wrinkles. I’d eat as right as I could, do yoga, walk and not fret about weight. While the walking had been sporadic, apparently that plan worked for me. But, I wouldn’t have known it if I hadn’t stepped on that scale. 

Over the next couple days, I kept asking myself why the number on a scale held so much power in my life? Had I kept my old scale and weighed in once a week, would I have felt this good for the last year, year-and-a-half? Probably not. Most likely, I would have decided that I needed to lose an additional 4 pounds. 

As I continued to think about it, I found myself saying things like --

 “I could lose 5 more pounds. Then I’d look and feel even better.” 

“The weight loss is probably because I’m not walking as often as I used to. I lost muscle weight. The fat is still there.” 

“Oh s***, now that I know my weight is in a good range, I’ll probably relax and overeat.” 

I am still obsessing over weight!

During this process, I managed to kill my high from the doctor’s office. Bummer.