A couple weeks ago, I came across a statement that caused me to ponder the term “abusive relationship.” I don’t remember the exact words the author used but I came away thinking that using them may be dehumanizing the situation it is supposed to describe. (Wish I had saved that article.)
Over time “Abusive Relationship” has become the go-to label. Kind of an entity all its own. But, have we come to the point where it has been used so often that those who hear it gloss over it without giving the deserved wince? Has overuse nullified its power?
Does it take the human factor out of the situation and place the blame on the relationship? Does it move us one comfortable step away from the truth that something heinous happens—a person is being deprived of his or her rights, being attacked, and in danger of being murdered?
According to Webster’s New Universal Unabridged Dictionary, relationship means:
- A connection, association, or involvement.
- The connection between persons by blood or marriage.
- An emotional or other connection between people.
- A sexual involvement, affair.
It’s not the relationship between the two people that is abusive. The abuse isn’t a two-way street. It is one person systematically and intentionally attacking his or her partner in order to maintain control.
The question I’m asking myself is: Should I use more descriptive and exact words that better define what is really going on?
- She constantly belittles and humiliates her partner.
- He beats his partner.
- One partner uses power to force the other to comply with his or her wishes.
I could go on but you get the idea. Though it would increase the number of words in an article, blog, or presentation, it’s something to consider. (Perhaps we should reevaluate all the go-to terms related to abuse.)
I plan to select my words more carefully now. To use words that highlight the truth—one person consistently commits violent attacks on the other.
What do you think? I am interested to hear your thoughts on this topic.
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