Victim's Wheel of False Beliefs

In our desire to be loved, we accept false beliefs. We cannot change our partner. We can change how we think and behave by letting go of the following:

Seeing your partner as all-powerful by believing: 
  • You can’t live without him
  • Your partner can fool legal and medical experts
  • His word will be taken over yours
  • No one can protect you

Denying and minimizing his behavior by:
  • Misrepresenting or coloring the truth of his behavior 
  • Lying to his boss or others to cover for his bad behavior or choices
  • Not admitting the danger of the situation
  • Holding on to your unrealistic dreams and fantasies

Believing you can save or change him by:
  • Fixing him
  • Controlling the situation

Sacrificing your self by:
  • Allowing yourself and children to be hurt in order to “save” him
  • Always giving up your needs and wants for his
  • Thinking God expects you to live with abuse
  • Believing you owe him your life

Blaming yourself for his behavior or choices—Believing You Deserve Abuse by:
  • Thinking you can control the situation by your behavior
  • Justifying his behavior toward you

Blaming outside forces for his behavior or choices by:
  • Not holding him responsible for his actions

Accepting male privilege by:
  • Seeing men as the “boss,” the one in charge, smarter and wiser than you
  • Protecting his “male ego”
  • Making excuses for his behavior based on gender

Giving up on yourself by:
  • Beating yourself up with self-talk
  • Not trusting your instinct, intelligence, capabilities
  • Letting fear control your actions
  • Thinking no one cares about you
  • Not taking care of yourself
  • Giving up your gifts and talents, your goals and passion

No comments:

Post a Comment