In our desire to be loved, we accept false beliefs. We cannot change our partner. We can change how we think and behave by letting go of the following:
Seeing your partner as all-powerful by believing:
- You can’t live without him
- Your partner can fool legal and medical experts
- His word will be taken over yours
- No one can protect you
Denying and minimizing his behavior by:
- Misrepresenting or coloring the truth of his behavior
- Lying to his boss or others to cover for his bad behavior or choices
- Not admitting the danger of the situation
- Holding on to your unrealistic dreams and fantasies
Believing you can save or change him by:
- Fixing him
- Controlling the situation
Sacrificing your self by:
- Allowing yourself and children to be hurt in order to “save” him
- Always giving up your needs and wants for his
- Thinking God expects you to live with abuse
- Believing you owe him your life
Blaming yourself for his behavior or choices—Believing You Deserve Abuse by:
- Thinking you can control the situation by your behavior
- Justifying his behavior toward you
Blaming outside forces for his behavior or choices by:
- Not holding him responsible for his actions
Accepting male privilege by:
- Seeing men as the “boss,” the one in charge, smarter and wiser than you
- Protecting his “male ego”
- Making excuses for his behavior based on gender
Giving up on yourself by:
- Beating yourself up with self-talk
- Not trusting your instinct, intelligence, capabilities
- Letting fear control your actions
- Thinking no one cares about you
- Not taking care of yourself
- Giving up your gifts and talents, your goals and passion
No comments:
Post a Comment